Internet Dating + Two 20Somethings = Disastrous

how much I truly despise that man and regret ever acknowledging his existence in the first place. this is becoming a hatred so thick that if I ever saw him the daggers coming out of my eyeballs would murder him a thousand times over.
all these feelings are in turn upsetting me because I know he’s not worth one iota of the thought and energy it takes to truly hate someone.

those that might not know, peep the #tcwa tag or look in our “list of men”

I really don’t have anything to add to this. I’ve said before that it may make me seem heartless to be putting this out here like I am. He plays the victim and it’s not fucking fair. You are all over the damn place, sir. If you’re going to hate me, HATE ME. But Jesus tapdancing Christ do not contact me again.*

*NB: he reads this blog(I didnt give him the url he googled us) and after each post about him he enjoys sending me lengthy emails rebutting each point I address. He can say he’ll no longer visit the blog but our analytics account says otherwise. 

**as far as blocking his texts- from what I can see TMobile doesn’t offer that option and I’ve tried a couple apps to no avail, and my phone only allows for phone call blocking.  

 For all that are unfamiliar with Adam, please direct yourselves to this. It is imperative that you read these posts first before continuing to read this one so that you may grasp this situation in it’s entirety.

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Did you read them? Good, here we go.

After that texting fiasco last August he and I talked on and off and I thought we could be friends. While my memory is vague I believe we hung out a few times. Several of which were awkward as hell for me but I’m so bored most of the time I would do it just to occupy myself with something. 

The most recent night he and I got together was the Friday after Valentine’s Day. I had been texting with the Comedian(guy I’ve been infatuated with for a year+ and we’d been on and off sleeping together for about the same time) sporadically and made an assumption that he and I would be getting together that Friday. Adam and I made plans for the same night, my thinking was that I could get a drink with Adam then proceed to the Comedian for the rest of the night.

Before I even left my neighborhood I had told Adam that there was a very, very slight chance that  I would be meeting up with someone else later that night. He said that was fine. In his (minor) defense I did stress that this was very unlikely because I had just assumed that the Comedian would be wanting some o’ this. 

I met him at his apartment and we carpooled to downtown for drinks. On the way there he mentioned this new friend of his that he thinks I should sleep with (?) and how they’re probably going to be roommates soon. This dude was at the bar when we arrived and he was, let’s just say not my type. *shivers*

After about 30 ish minutes I heard back from the Comedian, told him I was in town and he said he wanted to hang out. At that point Adam noticed me on my phone a lot and asked if I was leaving. I told him I would be after we finished our drinks. 

This is when things took a turn. He was furious. I apologized to him but I couldn’t keep the smirk out of my tone because I knew that if this situation arose again I would choose exactly the same path one hundred times over. I weighed my options and I wanted the Comedian. 

I said to Adam- “How many shitty things can I do to you before you finally just say ‘that’s enough’?” He responded with “I think this is it.” He refused to let me pay for my drink, I can only imagine in an effort to make me feel guilty.

We had the most uncomfortable drive back to his house when I said i’m sorry thank you and goodnight then left.

About an hour later while I was with the Comedian at a bar I started getting the text messages, which have since been deleted, saying things generally such as:

- that was so fucked up what you did

-you went on a date with me only to leave to go fuck someone else

I apologized again but after he called what we did a “date” I was in the act of responding (um…date? according to whom?! damn sure I wouldn’t call that shit a date you imbecile  WHYYYYY would we be going on a date after all that’s happened???) when I got the final text that said something to the effect of a “fuck you, I don’t deserve to be treated like this.” 

So I let him have his last word/*drops the mike and walks off stage* moment because I knew he would need that more than I would and I was just plain exhausted with arguing with him. 

So I didn’t respond, I stayed out late with the Comedian and then we went back to his house and fucked and it was great just like I knew it would be. 

A month and a half went by before I started getting texts from him again-

Much like my previous ‘Text Conversations with Adam’ I will have a couple installments to fully explore this crazy. 

i’m just a girl the end of my rope and i have no idea how to get this out of my life. 

first plan-I canceled
second plan-he canceled
third plan- pedestrian gets hit by a train on the street he’s taking to come meet me five minutes before our arranged meeting time.

what does it all mean!!?

That thing where you’re with someone you really like for the first time and you have a surprise two week early period. yeah, that.

I want to know what artists/albums/songs are totally ruined for you because you always associate them with a certain person from your past.

One of mine Tycho’s album “Dive”. 

What’s yours?

I’m going to New York City for the first time ever in two weeks. 

I’ve been racking my brain trying to come up with great stuff to do when I saw this super cheap show, some band called Gemini Club. Which, personally, I hate the name and I’d never heard of them before. But after listening to a fair bit of things, I think I will in fact force my friend to go with me!

Also, there are at least two people I’ve slept with that are currently living in the city, and my fingers are crossed that I’ll run into one or both!! so I’m thinking 2 in 8,000,000 odds are lookin pretty good.