Internet Dating + Two 20Somethings = Disastrous

Posts tagged "Liz"

I messaged a guy on okc a few days ago. We just today started texting and it got pretty feisty. 

his profile questions mentioned something about not finding overweight people attractive (of which I am one) so when he was propositioning me this morning I made sure to be perfectly clear what type of beautiful lady he was dealing with. 

He brings up this whole fantasy of a glory hole and how he’s always wanted to do that. I told him that I was certainly not doing that. 

Before my text re his “pushing rope” I showed him a picture of my underwear clad body taken in my work bathroom (hawt!) and he responded with a dick pic, saying “fair is fair.” 

and then the rest happened. 

too bad, he looked cute. 

This is slightly terrifying.

Ok dude, stay calm, but i think your dog is actually the monster from Cloverfield.

I was talking to a hairy, older(ish) looking 22 year old on OKC for maybe a week and we decided to have dinner last night. 

Yes, 22. Eye roll city. But he seemed smart enough and like I said, looked older than me. 

We met at a Chinese place. I was immediately bored. He was showing his age with the most boring, stupid topics I can’t even remember! But he did say that I looked either “really bored or really tired.” 

He told me “ok you talk now” and ” you say things” a few times because he said he felt an awkward silence. TBQH, I didn’t feel awkward at all. I just wanted to eat my damn Kung Pow Chicken. If I also had things to talk about, great! Also, he was eating off my dang plate, WITHOUT asking. 

When the TWENTY TWO dollar check came he had already pulled out his card and I asked if he wanted to split it and before the words were out of my mouth he shout-answered YES. I was like, Jeez man, treat a bitch once in your life. wow.

Previously in our little chats he had mentioned that he and his last girlfriend had broken up because her “feminist views clashed with his heavy sarcasm.” His profile is also littered with “I’m so sarcastic” comments that people love to throw around. So, imagine my surprise when at the end of the dinner he tells me that if was really difficult to “sift through my extreme sarcasm.”

I told him I had no reason to actually be rude to him, *yet*, and it was all just jokes, kid. 

And then essentially he ended with ” I wish you the best of luck in all your endeavors.”

I recently emptied my car and found this old journal. Attempting to update my “list of men.” There were names on here i had absolutely forgotten about

There were two ways you could have reacted to my (joke) response. You chose this awesome, angry sounding way.

Me in bed after five wines

My Sunday night consisted of me realizing that accidentally putting a tampon in while I already have one in is one of my, like, top 6 fears of life.

It’s the freakin weekend, baby I’m about to have me some fun.


I also don’t understand why his masculine insecurity should affect my reputation.

This video is a bit off but this chorus has been stuck in my brain for weeks.

Your body Is a weapon, love.

I’m a muse!! The only catch was that i had to date someone i didn’t have strong feelings for, four years ago, and we had to have a terrible, awful, just straight up atrocious, break up and not talk to eachother for several years. Lucky me:)

I would do this.

Is it just me or is this the Most confusing af way to propose?

Me in bed